Right, so, I was scrolling down the comments on Fang's latest post (the answer to a weekly question) and found this. Someone called disneydork put it on, not me, so don't come screaming at me. (For those who do, in fact, not know, Fang's blog is at www.maximumride.blogspot.com)
WHY FANG SHOULD NOT DIE!
1. He's too hot to die.
2. Because he's a sexy beast.
3. There would be no reason to kill him cause if you did that would help the other company even more then this (I, disneydork, have no idea what that means, but it's a reason.)
4. He's beautiful.
5. Max would go into depression.
6. People would go on a rampage.
7. Suicide ranks would go UP (up to ~heaven~ with the dead hot bird kid.)
8. The flock would die.
9. He can ~fly~!
10. Fang shouldn't die because I don't know anyone else who apparently has an unhealthy obsession with black.
11. Because his black hair is so... silky smooth and awesome. If he dies, how will I ever get a chance to run my fingers through that lucious hair?
12. All his fangirls will roast the killer over hot coals, with skewers through him/her arms and legs holding him/her up. And not a blazing fire, because hot coals will take longer.
13. Fang. Is. Awesome.
14. Fax is legendary.
15. What the heck is Fax without the /f/. Ax, that's what! And God knows there's /way/ too much Ax in the world. Geez, guys. They commercials aren't actually true!
16. The fans will unleash their wrath.
17. MR addicts will destroy the murderer.
18. If the flock is captured once again, the school will have one less expiriment to torture.
19. The murderer will never have ANYTHING with cofee or cocoa beans in it EVER AGAIN! (I have my ways.)
20. Max will kill herself and the whole flock will die.
21. HE HAS TO MARRY MAX!
22. Max would die.
23. The flock would fall apart!
24. Fang has a cool name. People with cool names shouldn't die.
25. If Fang died, the entire flock would be lost, including Max.
26. If Fang is gone, Faxness is gone, which will probably be replaced by something nasty- like Miggy- it's just plain un-canon!
27. Fang's name spelled backwards is "gnaF" which actually, in another language, means "cannot die until after age 25 so hah"
28. If someone killed Fang, Max and the flock would seek revenge and dude who killed him and would be in for a fate WORSE than the death he/she gave Fang. It would be in her/his best interests to NOT PO Max.
29. There will be at LEAST fifty girls that I know of who'll be crushed that he died.
30. Without Fang, Nudge will have no silent listener and will therefore ramble on with everyone else in the Flock, and they won't be too happy about that.
31. The dude just found his power, give him some time to use it!
32. A lot of FanFics (including mine) will become invalid because they're about Fax or Max and Fang's kids, and without Fang those really can't happen, can they?
33. If Fang were to die, Iggy might (MIGHT) get attracted to Max and therefore he'll be taken, which will crush even more girls (including I, disneydork.)
34. Fang is actually a really important person in the Flock, he needs to be there to drive Max crazy (and I quote, Max: "I hate you!", Fang: "No you don't!" :D) and save her whenever she goes to Germany.
35. Lissa is going to be pissed (not that we care, but I may as well add that).
36. Sam will try to get back with Max without the "protective younger brother" in the way.
37. Fang is hot.
38. The flock can't survive without him.
39. Max would be lost without him.
40. The fangirls will torture the killer for all of eternity~
41. Max and Fang are in ~love~.
42. Who else am I going to have perverted dreams about?
43. He's funny.
44. Fang always has a witty comment on hand, he just doesn't always say it out loud.
45. We all love him!
46. He's so lovable!
47. Who's going to run the blog?
48. He needs a hug, not a funeral.
49. We. Will. All. Die.
50. He's hot!
51. He's so smexiny!
52. Max really needs him.
53. Max just figured out she's in love with him, he can't just go DIE on her!
54. "Max and Fang, flying over trees, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" What would this be without Fang? "Max and no one flying over trees, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Max kissing without a partner is... awkward and creepy.
55. The flock is no flock without Fang.
56. Who the heck is Max going to let out all of her adolescent hormones on?
57. He's Max's right hand man!
58. He's second in command.
59. Who is Iggy going to turn to, when he wants descriptions of "hot beach bunnies"? Gasman is too young, and Max... uh, I don't even want to know.
60. He's Max's only possible future boyfriend. If Max wants to have a family or have a boyfriend or whatever, then only Fang could do that. She needs someone like her! Not a stupid weiner, like Sam. She NEEDS Fang!
61. He's the tall, dark, and silent one! We need a quiet person in the flock! If we have a Nudge, then we need a Fang!
62. He's the only one who could catch Max when she falls.
63. He's what makes up 50 percent of her heart! Without that 50 percent, Max is a goner.
64. Her heart will be /four/ sizes too small. She'll make the Grinch look like a compassionate pillow maker!
65. WHAT ABOUT THE BLOG! HELLO! FANG owns the blog. He writes and updates the blog! People who read the blog NEEDS Fang to run it!
66. HE IS HOT! WHO WOULD WANT TO KILL SOMEONE CUTE?!
67. WITHOUT FAND THERE IS NO FLOCK!
68. But Fang is Max's BF. I don't want to see her in more pain. I, myself, have...mixed feelings for Second in Command. His actions, his words. LIKE is probably too big a word to express me to him. Because of Max, I will never kill Fang. Only for her benefit (and besides, killing Fang is unnecessary. What satisfaction would I get out of killing him?) I'm not really a fangirl am I?
69. He's too hot for little things like /daeth/.
70. All the MR fanfic writers would be too depressed to write, hence the end of MR FanFiction.
71. Because disneydork would be depressed and would not shed her dorky light on the world.
72. There's no reason /to/ kill him!
73. Max will track the killer down!
74. Nope. Do not even consider his death. He. Is. Too. Hot. To. Die.
75. Do not discuss this, for everytime I think about the death of Fang, I die a little inside.
76. He's hideous (sarcasm).
77. He's as stupid as a rock (sarcasm).
78. He's a flabbery german clog dancer (sarcasm)
79. He's bloddy brilliant!
80. He's a manly robust italien model.
81. Whoever killed him would die a slow, painful, tourtureous, excruciating, agonizing, unbearable, insufferable death by fanpeoples in a surely cruel, brutal, pitiless, malicious, spiteful, and vindictive manner.
82. Fang has "a wicked fashion sense and pays a mean harmonica" You can't kill someone who plays the harmonica.
83. Fang can't die without telling Max how he feels! Well, again!
84. Fang can't die because Max would never have anyone to talk to about what's really going on.
85. Fang can't die until all the Figgy and Fudge fangirls die first!
86. The most important reason by far, Max would fall apart and not be able to save the world without Fang. Do we want a Europe repeat?
87. He simply cannot, and will not. I'll throw myself in front of a bullet for him if that's what it takes!
88. If he dies, we will kill EVERYONE!
89. We will send as many letters to the heads of our respective continents and tell them we KNOW.
90. We will take ALL our money out of the banks and watch the world's currency collapse, and tell everyone we know to do the same.we will rule the world because WE have all the money in the world. the world will panic.
91. Fang's too sexy for his shirt, too sexy for his shirt~
92. He's the bestest!
93. He must live and thats that! Besides, who else would I stalk if he died...0.0...sorry, just let out my little secret... hehe...
94. Fang can't die because Fang is amazing, and even though I write about him dying I really don't want to. THE PLOT BUNNIES MADE ME! As for why Fang is so awesome, there are no words to describe.
95. Fang must live! For without Fang, Max would now be dead.
96. Where would the worls be without Fang's blog?
97. All the fangirls would be like "I love cookies, but who doesn't? who doesn't like those little circles of heaven?" Then a fellow fangirl would say "Oh, yeah, Fang. Ya know, because HE'S DEAD!"
98. The world of MR fangirls would unravel without him!
99. Max will die of a broken heart, thus resulting in ANOTHER failed experiment, and I'm sure you don't want that.
100. Rabid fangirls will track you down, murderer, and kill you using their claws, DA pictures of Fang, pitchforks, and grates from their fireplaces.
A few of the kazzilion reasons Fang should NOT die.
So, Fang, did you get a good ego boost out of this?
This list was a combination of reasons I created myself, and reviews from FanFiction. Sorted randomly.
Do me a favour?
P.S. Sorry for the repitition. Fangirl minds think alike.